Jon Badeaux
A post from my Facebook page about my cousin Don:
"A little more than a week ago, my cousin Don Hansen passed away. He fought cancer for several years and simply lost the fight.
I grew up thinking my older cousin was larger than life. He was the "coolest" person I knew. He had the cutest girlfriend, Carol, and he married her. I was jealous. But, I was 10. I got over it.
Over the years we lost touch. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he reappeared in my life about three years ago. We had a couple of amazingly good phone conversations and many, many equally good email chats. He'd sign off every email with "Hugs." That was nice. I learned who Don was and the real man he grew up to be. He liked to be called Big D. And he loved that the kids called him Papa. That's what we called the grandfather we shared and idolized.
Somewhere along the way, I made a comment that he didn't much care for. Without question, I immediately wanted to take it back. But I can't. I appealed to him twice, telling him it wasn't meant the way he took it. He was headstrong and forgiveness never came. So, I had to accept the fact that I'd never speak to him or share another email story. When the news of his death came, it really hurt.
There was a celebration of his life yesterday in San Bernardino, where we all grew up, and where Cousin Don spent his entire life. More than anything, I wanted to go. I wanted one last time to see that girl he married and loved with all his heart. I wanted to see the family he spawned over the years. But I knew they wouldn't want to see someone that Don had never forgiven for a really stupid remark. I thought of going down there for the weekend, just to drive around. Or, as my sister would say, waste gas. I would have felt close to him one last time. But it seemed like a silly expense. I'm still weighing whether or not I made the right choice to stay home. In the end, I didn't need to go there to celebrate his life. Still, it would have been nice.
So, Big D, if you happen to be on Facebook tonight -- although you were never fond of it -- I just want to say goodbye and let you know that I really loved you more than I ever let on. I probably need to say that to a lot of other people, too. And by the way, Cuz, I still think you're the coolest. Hugs."
- Jon Badeaux
https://www.facebook.com/JonBad.Home
